Wiston Papers

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“I’m suing Facebook,” sputtered John only seconds after waitress Beverly had poured our weekly coffee.

“Suing FB?” I asked suspecting that I would regret this conversation.”

“Yes,” John exhorted as he nearly slammed his cup to the table.     “I feel like I’ve been poked in the back!”

Ping I thought.  GLWT.

“But, John, you’re a big FB FOAF.  You even bought stock on the IPO, right?”  I queried.

“Yes, and I’m like...UGH.  Lost a ton of money when the shares fell,” he muttered as a drop of java rolled down his chin.  “A total WOT.”

“You’re no longer a friend?” I smiled to myself.

“Yeah, LOL to you, too,” he countered sarcastically.

“BTW, John, didn’t you do the same thing a couple of years ago with the iPod AYOR?”  I treaded nervously.

“AYPI.  DEGT,” he exploded.  “I stood in line overnight in a blizzard to be one of the first to get one.  Then Apple drops the price $200 the next day!”

“WDR ICBW...uh...wasn’t the sale in June and the price drop in September?” I corrected cautiously.

“WTV, the point is I lost money on iPod and now my Facebook stock is ITBOOTP.”

“You didn’t see the handwriting on your wall...uh...timeline?”

“I was unfriended because some people had inside information about the true value of the stock and I didn’t,” John complained.  “I’m SMH.”

“Did you invest money from your gay couple counseling business?”  I wondered.

“Well, that’s not going so well at the moment...SUSFU...it’s a long story.”

“How is suing Facebook going to help?  The stock might bounce back then you’ll have nothing.  DSI”  I suggested.

“Hum,” John leaned back and pondered.  “You may be right.  Oh, GTR, Steve.  I’d pay for coffee this week but, well, YKHII.”

“YYSS, I know,” I shook my head and reached for my wallet.  “You lost money on Facebook.”

Beverly brought a refill and the check.  “AWHFY , boys?”  she smiled as John walked out the door.

“ICYC.  John’s DITG.   Lost money in the stock market,” I explained.

“RUS?  SAT.  SMH.  T4LMK.”  Beverly started to walk away, stopped, turned and said,   “BTW.  I hate acronyms.”

   

Steve Coon

May 29, 2012