Wiston Papers

Facebook Friend

“I’m suing Facebook,” sputtered John only seconds after waitress Beverly had poured our weekly coffee.

“Suing FB?” I asked suspecting that I would regret this conversation.”

“Yes,” John exhorted as he nearly slammed his cup to the table.     “I feel like I’ve been poked in the back!”

Ping I thought.  GLWT.

“But, John, you’re a big FB FOAF.  You even bought stock on the IPO, right?”  I queried.

“Yes, and I’m like...UGH.  Lost a ton of money when the shares fell,” he muttered as a drop of java rolled down his chin.  “A total WOT.”

“You’re no longer a friend?” I smiled to myself.

“Yeah, LOL to you, too,” he countered sarcastically.

“BTW, John, didn’t you do the same thing a couple of years ago with the iPod AYOR?”  I treaded nervously.

“AYPI.  DEGT,” he exploded.  “I stood in line overnight in a blizzard to be one of the first to get one.  Then Apple drops the price $200 the next day!”

“WDR ICBW...uh...wasn’t the sale in June and the price drop in September?” I corrected cautiously.

“WTV, the point is I lost money on iPod and now my Facebook stock is ITBOOTP.”

“You didn’t see the handwriting on your wall...uh...timeline?”

“I was unfriended because some people had inside information about the true value of the stock and I didn’t,” John complained.  “I’m SMH.”

“Did you invest money from your gay couple counseling business?”  I wondered.

“Well, that’s not going so well at the moment...SUSFU...it’s a long story.”

“How is suing Facebook going to help?  The stock might bounce back then you’ll have nothing.  DSI”  I suggested.

“Hum,” John leaned back and pondered.  “You may be right.  Oh, GTR, Steve.  I’d pay for coffee this week but, well, YKHII.”

“YYSS, I know,” I shook my head and reached for my wallet.  “You lost money on Facebook.”

Beverly brought a refill and the check.  “AWHFY , boys?”  she smiled as John walked out the door.

“ICYC.  John’s DITG.   Lost money in the stock market,” I explained.

“RUS?  SAT.  SMH.  T4LMK.”  Beverly started to walk away, stopped, turned and said,   “BTW.  I hate acronyms.”

   

Steve Coon

May 29, 2012

   

Wiston Papers

Memorial Day 2012

     The Memorial Day Weekend is considered by many as the traditional start of the Summer season.  A time for parades, picnics, visits to cemetaries, or just a moment of simple, quiet reflection.

    This is appropriate.  The weekend should be a time for enjoyment and recollection.  A celebration of who we are and what we have accomplished.  A tribute to those who have died in service to our nation and thoughts of those who continue to make a difference in so many ways.

    America has been involved in 35 wars or military conflicts since her birth.  Add to that number the places and times when men and women have died while in uniform, and the number totals nearly 75. Hundreds of thousands of men and women have died in fighting for their nation.  Whether the 625,000 who perished in the Civil War, the half-a-million who died in two World Wars  or the relative handful who fell in Panama, Grenada and Bosnia.

    Warfare has been part of our statehood since the nation was formed.  Scholar Francis Fukuyama has documented the rise of modern national political structures worldwide as a direct result of the perceived need for military adventure.

    Regardless of how one perceives the necessity or wisdom of war, every victim is a hero and we are obligated to remember them as such.

    America is a nation of heroes but they do not all wear military uniforms:

This weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the teachers who have answered the call to inspire, motivate, educate and elevate a new generation of Americans.

This weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the religious leaders who remind us of our moral and ethical standards that  embrace our humanity.

This weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the public servants who patrol our neighborhoods to secure our homes and well being, who battle blazes to save property and lives, who clean our streets and dispose of our abandoned and discarded possessions.

This weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the doctors who battle disease and repair injured bodies, the nurses who nurture and give care to healing patients, physical therapists who help restore broken spirits and teach how to use artificial limbs.

This weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the volunteers who give of their time, energy, emotions and love both at home and abroad to improve the quality of lives at all levels.

And especially this weekend we should pause a moment to thank all the parents and extended families who find countless ways to express their love and to pass to the next generation the lessons of civility, generosity, dedication, patriotism and commitment to a better world.

This list is sadly short and incomplete.  There is neither time nor space here  to acknowledge everyone.  But each of us in our own way can complete the list.  We can thank those who came before, who continue to make a difference today, and have paved the path for future generations.

   

   

Steve Coon

May 27, 2012

Wiston Papers

Dr. Love

Beverly had just poured our coffee when John proclaimed, “I have a really, really big announcement.”

“Oh?” I paused just before the edge of the cup reached my lips.

“Yes, I’m going into the romance consulting business.”

“You’re what?” as I quickly grabbed cup with both hands to steady myself..

“The Love Doctor....that’s me from now on,” John smiled  triumphantly.

“Uh...why...?”

“Well, you probably heard about that New York couple who were the ‘Love Consultants’’ until they filed for divorce this week?”  John make quotation marks with his hands.

I looked at Beverly for help, but she just smiled and shook her head.

“And Dr. Phil,” John continued,” he still gives marital advice although he got a divorce.”

Please, just shoot me now, I begged.

“After all, who’s more qualified than I am to talk about love and marriage?” John boasted.

No. Don’t go go there, I thought.

“Because...,” I probed cautiously suspecting the answer.

“Exactly.  Three marriages gives me real insight,” John explained.

“Insight isn’t the word I would choose,” I suggested.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he countered.”  Happily married guys like you don’t have a clue about the rough romance road many of us have to travel,” he assured.  “You don’t have to be successful; you just have to have lots of experience.”

Why am I not surprised, I regretted.

“I hate to ask,” I continued fearfully,  “but what exactly is your love advice John?”

“That’s what’s great about my plan and why it’s unique.  It’s all about ‘communication.’” he signed.

Oh, brother, I shook my head.

“And you got this idea from your Lady Friend?”  I wondered.

“Oh...uh...know,” John said sheepishly, “we’re not...exactly...uh...you...know talking right now.”

“Not exactly communicating are we, Dr. Love?”  I thrust.

John glared. “Look.  I’ve found a niche market.  I’m going to counsel same-sex couples.”

“Say what?”

“Love and marriage  are equal opportunity partners,”  he pontificated.   "Same-sex marriage is spreading like wildfire and I’m going to help fan the flames,” he preached metaphorically.

“And there’s money to be made,” I suggested sarcastically.

“Exactly.  Oh, I’m picking up the bill this week.  It’s a business expense.   Well, I’m off to visit my banker about financing.”

“What’s John up to this time,” Beverly asked as she poured a refill. 

“He’s going to counsel gay couples.”

Beverly just shook her head.  “I’m opposed to same-sex marriage,” she opined.

“What?  Why?

“Same-sex marriage is a bad idea,” she shook her head as she turned to walk away, “It just leads to same-sex divorce.”

I smiled.

Steve Coon

May 13, 2012

Wiston Papers

Mother's Day 2012

On this day all of us have memories of our mothers and how they have shaped our lives.

Here are just a few of the wonderful ones I have:

When I was in grade school, mom threw elaborate (or so they seemed at the time) birthday parties and Valentine Day’s celebrations.  I loved them.  Other holidays including Christmas were equally wonderful.

When I was in High School, mom persuaded me one St. Patrick’s Day to wear green earrings.  She always had a theatrical air about her and obviously thought I was strong enough to endure the inevitable teasing.  I wasn’t sure at first.  But it was fun.  I’m glad she convinced me.

Mom later was involved in the Community Theater of hour hometown; starring in a few comedies and working behind the scenes in other productions.  It was one of her great pleasures.  She also encouraged me to join the speech club and I appeared in a couple of plays.  I thank her for that.

Another joy was my mother’s love of poetry.  She had an exceptional memory and for decades gave numerous readings in which she recited scores of long and short poems.  She helped me memorize Abou Ben Adhem for a required English class assignment.  Despite my shyness I managed.  Years later during a series of video oral histories with mom, I mentioned that I could only remember the first line.  She immediately picked up from where my memory failed and recited the rest flawlessly.  Amazing feat and wonderful memory.

There are many, many others I could mention.  But I’ll keep them in a special place in my heart.  Instead I welcome thoughts of yours on this day of love and remembrance...Mother’s Day 2012.

Steve Coon

May 13, 2012

Wiston Papers

The President and Same-Sex Marriage

I am disappointed that President Barack Obama has publicly declared his support for same-sex marriage.

Not that I that I’m against same-sex marriage.  I’m not.  My disappointment is because it has nothing to do with national policy.  It’s an issue for state legislators and local policy makers to debate.

Mr. Obama can be for or against same-sex marriage as long as his actions in the Oval Office are focused on the larger problems facing this nation:  reducing unemployment, stimulating the economy, assuring affordable health care, and protecting the nation.   Those issues should command his full attention.

None of those has anything to do with same-sex marriage nor should they.

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day an American worker remains out of work;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day an American loses a home to the mortgage crisis;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day those responsible for the Wall Street Banking scandals go unpunished;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day an American man or woman dies in the unwarranted war in Afghanistan;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day  the national debt goes unresolved and deficit spending continues to erode America's strength;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day lost in the battle against illicit drug trafficking in this country;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--is another day that undocumented workers stream across our borders;

Every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--voters have the right to ask if the United States is better off today than it was four years ago.

And every day that the President focuses on a social issue like same-sex marriage--the answer is painfully obvious.

Steve Coon

May 10, 2012

Wiston Papers

It's Not Easy Being Green.

    Beverly had just delivered our coffee when my friend John leaned back in his chair and said, “I’m green.”

    “I can understand your jealousy,” I replied smugly thinking of what I had accomplished recently to deserve this admiration.

    “No, not green with envy,” John clarified, “I’m green as in ‘going green,’’ as he made imaginary quotation marks in the air.

“Oh, boy”, I thought.

“I’m going all natural...nothing artificial,” he leaned back and spread his arms proudly.

“All natural?  I seem to recall your hair transplant, uh..an eye tuck, ...nose bob, chin extension, a tummy tuck...and wasn’t there something about enlarging your...”

“Stop! That was yesterday,” John asserted.  “Today I’m a new man thanks to the nutritionist Artesia Timsley.  She's convinced me that 'going green' includes eating right as well as embracing the environment”

“Artesia...well,” I paused hiding the pleasure of my pun behind another sip of coffee.

“Yes, thanks to Artesia I’ve seen the light. I'm going green. And I’ve started a five-meal-a-day diet.”

“Here we go,” I cringed.

“This morning I had a healthful breakfast of cottage cheese, flaxseed and lox,” John preached.

“I should have taken that sweetroll our waitress Beverly offered,” I regretted.

“After coffee I’m taking two fish oil capsules and then for lunch a turkey burger, olive oil and cantaloupe,” he added.

“Olive oil and cantaloupe?” I questioned.  “Why are you doing this again?”

“Steve, it’s the trend...the new thing.  Scientists tell us we should eat five or six meals a day instead of three,” John insisted knowingly.

“Five or six of those bear claws would be nice right about now,” I wished.

“I can hardly wait for dinner,” he said wiping a slight drool from the corner of his mouth with a napkin.  “Red peppers and leeks.”

“I'm beginning to feel a little green, too,” I commented as I stifled a belch.

“That’s right,” John pressed on. “And before I jump into bed I’ll top off the day with some raw pumpkin seeds.
    “I’d spend the night in bathroom,” I thought queasily.

“Later this week, I’m having Chicken Almond Ding,” he boasted. “You should try it.”

“There’s no way I’m eating chicken dung,” I cowered.

“Not dung, damn it.  Ding...chicken ding! John shouted.  “It’s Chinese for...for...uh, well, something.”

“It certainly is,” I gulped more coffee before gagging.  

“The point is, Steve, that this is all good for you.”

“And you’re doing all this, John, because...?”

“Because I’ve met a new lady friend,” he boasted. “And she’s inspired me to remake myself.”

“Geez!” I shuddered.

“Oh, and I’ve meeting her now,” John jumped up.  “We’re off to grab some hummus and celery stalks at the farmer’s market. Oh, and you should  take one aspirin a day everyday.   Uh...you’ve got this week’s coffee, right?”  as he made his escape.
"I think I need a whole bottle of aspirin about now," I winced.

“How we doin’ here, boys,” asked Beverly as she brought the bill.

“You know. I’ve changed my mind,”  I answered, “I’ll have a slice of your pecan pie after all...and one of those glazed donuts to go.”

Steve Coon

May 09, 2012

 

Wiston Papers

What's in a name?

The U.S. Army wants to change the name of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and this week the American Psychiatric Association (APA) is considering it.

At the heart of the discussion is the term “disorder.”  Advocates of the word change claim that the term carries a stigma, which makes some sufferers reluctant to seek much needed care.  “Injury” is the term proponents seek.

Opponents argue that “injury” implies that the malady can be either cured or repaired like cancer or a broken bone.  That often is not the case they note.  Some victims require years of intensive therapy and medication to regain some semblance of normalcy.

Years ago I asked a psychiatrist who worked with veterans suffering from PTSD why some persons returned from war with it and others seemed virtually unscathed?  

There are many factors he explained.  But the principal one was how strong the individual was when he or she went off to war.  Those who returned healthy came from strong families, generally were well educated, enjoyed high good self-esteem, and had a strong religious faith or philosophical belief.  PTSD patients, he noted, often lacked one or more of these traits when they entered the military and were thus more vulnerable to stress and its consequences.

I doubt that a name change alone will motivate men and women who are struggling with psychological trauma to seek the help they need.  Too many will self-medicate with either alcohol or drugs to help cope with a civilian world they can no longer navigate. And too many will refuse to recognize or admit that they have a problem no matter what the label.  

There would be less stigma if the military did a better job of counseling our men and women at all stages of service from enlistment, tours, to discharge.  Our soldiers, marines, sailors and air force personnel should receive thorough screening and evaluation every six months while in service.  Those displaying symptoms of “stress” or “injury” should be rotated home for intensive treatment and reassignment or--in extreme cases--discharge with mandatory treatment as part of their release.

Too many Americans return from war with physical and mental trauma.  The military should be the first source of the necessary treatment and support.  In the case of mental “stress” or “injury,”  the military not the patient should take initiate diagnosis and treatment.  Unfortunately, too many veterans are expected to make the transition from war to peace on their own with little or no preparation for the inevitable “reverse culture shock” every person experiences after protracted time abroad.  Many can’t do it and the military is to blame.

Until  our government takes the necessary steps to protect our men and women--mentally and physically--all steps of their tour, we will continue to see a stream of veterans virtually abandoned by the very nation they vowed to protect.  

Call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Injury.  Changing the name isn’t the answer.  Better treatment by the military is.

Steve Coon

May 08, 2012

Wiston Papers

Fixing Congress

        Congress is not working.  Most Americans agree.  Polls show that nearly  80 percent of those questioned in recent surveys say they are dissatisfied with the performance of Capitol Hill.

What’s wrong?  And how do we fix it?  The answer to the first question is simple.  Our representatives are no longer that--representative.  They are out of touch.  Instead of looking out for the interests of  voters--we who elected them--our delegates to Congress are more concerned with self-aggrandizement, power and the spoils that come with membership in high society.

    As I’ve written here before, our Iowa delegation in both chambers is too old, bankrupt of ideas, too removed from the reality of Iowans, and too entrenched with the Washington elite.

    The answer to my second question--how do we fix Congres--is a little more complicated.

    First, we need terms limits.  No member of Congress should serve more than six years.  That’s a single term for  Senators; and Representatives should be limited to four years--just two terms in office..

    Our Founding Fathers wanted citizen legislators--men who would go to the Congress for a few years, do their jobs, then come home.  Unfortunately, too many men and women on Capitol Hill today believe they are entitled to what in most cases for incumbents resembles a life-time appointment.  They’re wrong.  Six years is long enough.

    Second, There are 535 members of Congress--each with a separate office, staff and budget. That’s unnecessary duplication and a waste of money.  Reduce the size of each member’s Washington office budget and staff by outsourcing most work back home so they are in closer contact with us and spend staff salaries and other budget monies in congressional home districts.

     All other Congressional  administrative tasks can be done from a centralized office in Washington that pools resources for all members. 

    Third, no Representative or Senator should receive a pension for congressional service.  Congressional service was never intended to be a permanent, lifetime job.  Our delegations should invest a portion of their salary for retirement like every other citizen--either through Social Security contributions, an individual IRA, or in investments recommended by a private-sector financial adviser. Just like the rest of us. Nothing more.

    Four, end the generous health care plans that are far superior to what many American receive.  President Obama campaigned on a promise to pass health care reform that would give every American the equivalent coverage and care now enjoyed by Congress.  That didn’t happen and it’s wrong.

    Our Senators and Representatives should never approve any legislation to which they are exempt.  Congress and we should share the same benefits and sacrifice equally.

    Five, travel between home and Washington should be at the lowest possible fares available whether by plane, train or any other method.   First class would be prohibited.

    Six, Congress should have no franking privileges.  Members should pay the same postage and shipping rates as other Americans.  

    Seven, our Senators and Representatives should spend more time at home and less in Washington.  In this era of all forms of digital communication ranging from teleconferencing and  videoconferencing to texting and electronic faxing, there is less need to be enclosed within the Beltway (the interstate that encircles Washington) except for critical votes.  And they could be scheduled for just a few days each month.  All committee work can be done by telecommunicating.

    If our Senators and Representatives spent more time in their home districts, they would be closer to their voters, more subject to local influence, and less likely to be seduced by  heavily-funded, professional lobbyists prowling the halls of Congress.

    Finally, we should start afresh.  In November let's vote against every incumbent.  Whatever the result, the new Congress can’t be any worse than what we have today.

Steve Coon

May 07, 2012