Wiston Papers

Let The Games Begin

“What in the world...” I almost dropped my coffee cup only seconds after our waitress, Beverly, had filled it.

“I can hardly wait to hear this one myself,” she smiled and walked away.

“I’m ready,” smiled John proudly, “let the games begin.”

“But...what...how...” I struggled to know where to begin.

“If you’re going to follow the Olympic Games, Dude, you’ve got to dress like a champion.”

“You mean...”

“Yes, you gotta wear the uniform,” John turned slowly to reveal his sartorial sporting splendor.

“But there are 32 sports in the Olympics,” I tried to grasp what I was seeing.  “You don’t mean that you’re wearing every...”

“Right on.  You got it, man.  For example, this is a Cycling Helmet for Biking and the Triathlon.  And my  Archery Chest Guard  keeps loose clothing like this Taekwondo Dobok away from my arrow.”

“I’m all a Quiver,” I replied pointedly.

“I think this Shuttlecock in Badminton is a nice touch,” John pointed to the Birdie atop the helmet.

“Hm...it’s Clear something’s at Fault” I tried to rally.  But how can you see with that...?”

“Oh, the Slide Blinder we use in Shooting.  I think it will also help me ignore TV commercials.”

“Your shoes...”

“I’ve got my Track Spikes,” John Put his left Leg on the table just as I LIfted  my coffee.

“And on your right...” I said in seizing the Baton.

“A Boxing Shoe,” John Feinted. "With a Pentathlon Spur on the back. It’s Plane that I can have these Sailing Hiking Straps.  And and these Trunks are for Beach Volleyball.”

“As least they are not Bikinis,” I Jousted.  

“Hm...that would call for a new Approach and increase the Degree of  Difficulty that I only expected in Diving,” he Balked.

“I may not be the best Judge but at least you won’t have to change Trunks for Swimming, Synchronized Swimming or Water Polo,” I Dived In seeing  a Clean Entry.

“To Broach a related issue.  I can’t decide between this Canoe Bent-shaft Paddle or the Kayak Double-bladed Paddle,” John Beamed.

“I think it’s a Wash,” was my Stern reply.

“You’re a Bit sarcastic,” John Bridled turning to Equestrian.

“OK.  I’m at Fault for my Disobededience,” I Halted.  But, John, ...the..uh...Skirt?”

“Field Hockey.  I admit it’s a Dangerous Play but at least I have my Judo Judogi Pants underneath.  “Uh...could you...”

“Yeah, drinking coffee with a Handball Glove is tough,” I Threw-In. And the Fencing Foil doesn’t help either,” I Advanced.

“Oh, I have this Rhythmic Hoop around my Neck,” John Vaulted to Gymnastics.

“I really like the Volley Ball Net around your waist. A great Kill,” I Rallied.  And the Soccer Flag on your back, but that was your Goal?”  I Challenged.  

“Look...I’ll be Straight with the Trampoline, ” John Twisted, “I don’t know where to Wrap that.”

“Yeah, I can see you’re Wrestling with that,” I Cautioned trying to Escape.  And Weightlifting was a Bomb?”

“Heavy, Man.  But at least I have room for my Basketball headband,” John Charged.

“Boys, just think of me as your Sailing Cockswain,”  Beverly, Tucked the Check under John’s cup.  “But with all your Racket you didn’t mention my favorite Olympic Sport.”

“What’s that?” we both asked.

“Table...Tennis.”

Steve Coon
June 12, 2012