Wiston Papers

Guilt or Innocence

“I’m disappointed in the John Edwards trial,” John shook his head after tasting his first sip of our weekly coffee that our waitress, Beverly, delivered.

“How so?  He was acquitted by a jury of his peers,” I explained.

“But it’s like asking the Ku Klux Klan to find a fellow member guilty.  A stacked deck,” John argued.

“The government’s case was weak according to some jurors who were interviewed,” I countered.

“But it’s like asking defensive football players to find a fellow player guilty for tackling too hard,” John sampled another drop of Arabica.

“The procecution’s witnesses were not credible I heard,” I suggested.

“It’s like asking a teachers union to find a fellow instructor guilty of poor performance,” John shook his head.

“The justice department was reluctant to try the case in the first place I understand,” as I savored the flavor of the day.

“But it’s like asking Democrats to find a fellow party member guilty of criticizing Governor Romney,” John insisted.

“Mr. Edwards asked for the trial because he insisted he was innocent,” I reasoned.

“But it’s like asking Republicans to find a fellow GOP member guilty for criticizing President Obama, “John continued bipartisanly.

“There was no definitive evidence of wrongdoing I suspect.  No smoking gun,” I proposed.

“You met John Edwards when he campaigned for president several years ago here in Iowa didn’t you?” John asked Beverly as she poured refills and placed the bill on the table.  “Do you think he’s guilty or innocent.”

“Yeah, he sat right where you fellows are and talked about his great plans for the country,” Beverly revealed.

“And what about the trial that just ended?”  I asked.

“I’d have found him guilty.  

“Really? Why?” we asked in unison.

“He was a lousy tipper.”

Steve Coon

June 04, 2012