Wiston Papers

Vacation plans 2013

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“That’s it.  I give up,” John conceded as he slowly descended into his chair.  “I can’t keep up with these 2013 daily celebrations.”

“Whoa, you haven’t even gotten to my day yet,” waitress Beverly reminded him.  “National Waitress Day on the 21st, remember?”

“Won't happen.  I already spent too much money last week,” John muttered.  

“Then you obviously won’t want any of our three coffee specials for this week--Parchment and  Kappi Royale Robusta and Monsooned Malabar,” Beverly boiled as she marched off.

“That’s what I need,” John agreed, “bring me the Marooned Malabar.  I’d love to be alone on a desert island.”
      "Monsooned!" Beverly stormed.  Monsooned!"
      "Whatever," John exhaled gloomily.

“Sounds like someone could use a vacation,” I smiled at the prospect and savored my first sip of Kappi Royale Robusta.

“Exactamundo, buddy. I need to get away,”  John chugged his Monsooned.  

“Well, it’s almost summer and people are making vacation plans,” I looked dreamily into the horizen.”

“That’s why I brought these travel brochures,” John quickly spread out several flyers on the table as I barely rescued my cup.

“There are great spots like Yellowstone with its geysers, hot springs and Grizzly Discovery Center,” I suggested good-naturedly.

“Burning water and man-eating animals don’t really appeal to me.”

“Washington, D.C. has lots of free attractions like the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument and Smithsonian museums,” I mentioned culturally.

“Nah, it’s too politically toxic.  I want to avoid politicians.”

“OK, how about San Francisco’s Embarcadero, Mission and Castro districts,” I noted gaily.  

“Yeah, well its hilly and Alcatraz seems confining.”

“I know,” I mentioned breezily, “there’s the Windy City Chicago with its baseball teams and shopping.”

“Don’t think so.  Too close to home. And the White Sox and Cubs both blew it last year.”

“How about Las Vegas?” I gambled. "You might Dig This,"

“No, no, no,” John motioned excitedly to Beverly for a refill.  “I’m looking for something unique like this Love Land in Korea or Amora Sex Theme Park in London.”

“Lover boy, you’d be better off renewing your spirit in seclusion at  Orlando’s Holy Land,” Beverly counseled as she piously restored our cups.

“But if I go to England I could see Dickens World.  Yeah, I should book that trip.”

“I’d prefer the World Chocolate Wonderland in China,” I pondered sweetly.

“It’s certainly better than the slave camps of Grutus Park in Lithuania or Memory Park in Haiti,” John groaned oppressively.

“John, a space cadet like you, would love the Apex Resort in Roswell, New Mexico,” Beverly hovered before dropping the bill. “And leave a big tip before you take off.  Or is that too alien for you?”

Steve Coon

May 15, 2013