Wiston Papers

We must secure our borders.  Or is it already too late?

The Senate is considering the Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Modernization Act--the so-called immigration reform bill.

Assuming passage of the proposal by the upper chamber, the House of Representatives would then take it up.  

Obscured  by the contentious partisan discussions in the Senate and narrow focus of media coverage on unlawful immigrants, is an unseen issue that threatens the very soul of America.

It may be too late for the Democrat-controlled Senate to correct this oversight, but the Republican House still has time to combat this  insidious danger.  To do so, the lower chamber must convene hearings that may look something like this:

HOUSE HOMELAND SECURITY COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN MICHAEL McCAUL OF TEXAS:    “Ladies and gentlemen, we have called this joint meeting of the House Homeland Security Committee, Foreign Affairs Committee, Intelligence Committee, and the Oversight and Government Reform Committees.

“With us today are the respective committee chairman Ed Royce of California, Mike Rogers of Michigan, and Darrell Issa of California.

“The purpose of this hearing is to determine how to keep America’s borders safe from Australian, British and Canadian actors and media executives who have invaded our shores and have displaced Americans performers and media elite.

“We have supboenaed the Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Nepolitano to testify and explain why the administration has failed to stem the flow of these foreigners.”

Australians Simon Baker of the “Mentalist,” Poppy Montgomery of “Without A Trace” and “Unforgettable,” Yvonne Strahovski of “Chuck,”  and “Dexter”...

NAPOLITANO:    “Mr. Chairman, thank you for this opportunity to clarify the misunderstanding that actors from abroad have replaced United States performers.”

Canadians Emily VanCamp of “Revenge,” Corey Monteith of “Glee,” Mia Kirshner of “The Vampire Diaries,” Jim Kerry of “The Truman Show,” “Mask”...

NAPOLITANO:    “The fact is, gentlemen, that immigrants from these ABC countries of Australia, Britain and Canada, have taken acting jobs that Americans don’t want.”

Britains Hugh Laurie of “House,” Nicollette Sheridan of “Desperate Housewives,” Matthew Rhys of “Brothers and Sisters,” Joely Richardson of “The Patriot”...

REP. ROYCE:    “But isn’t it true, Madame Secretary, that some of the most popular recent American movies and television shows star Australian, British or Canadian actors?  For example, English actor Daniel Day-Lewis received an Academy Award for playing the part of American President Abraham Lincoln. A Brit masquerading as an American.   Does that seem fair to you?

Daniel Day-Lewis in "Lincoln," Damian Lewis in "Homeland," Alan Cumming, "The Good Wife," Ed Westwick of "Gossip Girl"...

NAPOLITANO:    “With all due respect, Chairman Royce, fairness is not the issue.  President Obama is on record as promoting faster immigration for those persons most qualified to fill the competitive jobs the United States requires to restore our economic preeminence.  The popularity of the motion picture “Lincoln” and the millions of dollars spent by Americans who flocked to the theaters across the nation  to see the film demonstrate dramatically--pardon the pun (chuckles)--the wisdom of this immigration policy.”

Australian Portia de Rossi of “Arrested Development” and “Better off Ted,” John Noble of “Lord of the Rings,” and “Fringe,” Rachel Griffiths of “Six Feet Under,”  and Jesse Spencer of “House” and “Chicago Fire”...

REP. ROGERS:    “Secretary Napolitano, the Obama administration claims to have strengthened security along our border with Mexico by hiring more border patrol agents and extending the length of the wall under construction there.  Meanwhile our northern border is as porous as Swiss cheese and hoards of Canadians are slipping across.”

Canadians Michael J. Fox of “Back to the Future” and “Doc Hollywood,” Pamela Anderson of “Baywatch” and “V.I.P.” Stana Katic of “Castle,” and Martin Short of “Mars Attacks!” and “Saturday Night Live”...

NAPOLITANO:    “The United States and Canada enjoy a long history of harmonious, peaceful co-existence based on a common cultural and historical heritage including our British colonial ties and English language.  The vast majority of Canadian immigrants have entered America legally and have contributed to our nation’s artistic enrichment.  True, Mike Meyers may not be a good example, however...”

REP. ISSA:        “Artistic contributions aside, my concern is the British editorial impact on our news organizations.  With virtually no effort by your agency to control their arrival, scores of Brits have sneaked into our nation and taken control of key executive media jobs.  The fact that millions of Americans receive news, information and opinion shaped by English journalists frankly scares the bejeebers out of me.”

Britains Deborah Turness, president of NBC News, Mark Thompson, chief executive of The New York Times Company, Joanna Coles, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, and Tina Brown, editor of Newsweek and The Daily Beast...

NAPOLITANO:    “Although I share your concern, I must stress that it is the responsibility of the Immigration and Naturalization Service to patrol our nation’s shores and borders.  That is not a Homeland Security obligation.

“Nevertheless, my agency is working closely with the Department of Justice to monitor communications between journalists and their sources.  To date we have subpoenaed  the telephone records of the Associated Press and identified at least one reporter for Faux News...uh, rather...Fox News as a co-conspirator and...(SHUFFLING THROUGH HER NOTES)...no, wait these are Susan Rice’s talking points on Benghazi...ah, here we are.  (CLEARS HER THROAT)  “As I was saying...”

Steve Coon

May 29, 2013