Wiston Papers

The Olympic Games, weather and taxes

“This looks like an ‘interesting day,” waitress Beverly said as she made the “quote” sign with her hands then poured our coffee.

“No,” John corrected, “it’s a ‘great’ day,” also signaling “quote” with his fingers.

“Well, you’re certainly in a chipper mood,” I noted.

“Why not,” smiled John as he sipped his coffee and leaned back in his chair.

“Go on,” I suggested curiously.

“What’s not to like about today,” John hinted.  “The U.S. is doing great at the Olympics, the weather’s been fabulous, and I’ve about to save lots of money.”

“Whoa...let’s start over,” I asked.

“The U.S. women’s Olympic gymnastics team grabbed the Gold Medal for the team competition.”

“True, but the U.S. men crashed and burned,”

“But how about Gabby Douglas capturing Gold in the All-Around gymnastic’s competition?”

Yes, it was great,” I agreed, “but Ryan Lochte hasn’t made as much of a splash in swimming as predicted.”

“Speaking of water, last week’s rain was certainly welcome,”John smiled a little less than a second ago.  “That certainly reduced the heat and dropped the humidity.”

“But the Agriculture Department says that Iowa’s corn crop is 76 percent poor to only fair because of a drought,”  I countered, “and the state’s soybeans are only 71 percent.”

“But...” John began to wilt perceptibly.

“That means grocery prices will go up this fall as farmers harvest fewer acres, producers have to pay more for less corn, and it all gets passed on to us,” I shook my head.

“Maybe so,” John paused then gathered renewed inspiration, “but I’ll have extra money this year because I’m taking a Timothy Geithner exemption.”

“You’re taking what...?

“The Geithner exemption,” John recovered his spirits, “You know our Secretary of Treasury who didn’t pay his income taxes before President Obama appointed him to head the agency.”

But, John, that’s...”

“Yeah, and if the guy in charge of the Treasury and IRS doesn’t pay then I won’t either,”  John took a long final sip of his coffee.

“But didn’t you read today that the Treasury Department reported it had discovered more than $5 billion in IRS tax fraud?”

“Of course I did,” John stood up slowly and pulled out his wallet.  “But so what.  Since Geithner himself is responsible for part of that then I know neither he nor the IRS is serious about doing anything.”

“Wait, John,” I tried to recover, “you can’t...”

“Don’t worry, buddy,” John dropped money on the table, “I’ve got this week’s coffee because I’m saving lot’s of money on taxes.  Yeah, it’s a great day, some U.S. Olympic victories, a little rain, and lots of cash in my pocket,” John waves as he leaves.  “See you next week.”

“But, wait...what just happened here...?”  I stammered.

“That certainly went well,” Beverly commented as she pick up the bill and money and walked away.  “Nice job.”

Steve Coon
August 02, 2012